My Horse And His Broken Back

So, exactly how many times have I climbed back up on the horse after a too long break from writing this story? I honestly feel really sorry for him. We hang out, we're best friends (or like Forrest Gump says, "peas and car-rots"), then I start to get moody and grumpy and I piss and moan and walk away from the stable. My poor horse hangs out there alone. No one puts a blanket over him, brushes his coat or coos in his ear. That is until I come bouncing back to him, spirits high and determination pumping. Until I get moody and grumpy and I start to piss and moan again.

I highly doubt I need to explain this rotten behavior, seeing as though I've said it way too many times already. I'm tired, blah/blah/blah, work is so busy, blah/blah/blah, I don't know what I'm doing, blah/blah/blah, I want to spend time with my family. Yeah, I'm not going to blah/blah/blah that one. These gripes are not specific to writing, anyone experiences them when trying to fit another thing in their life that they dearly want. And even though I don't need to explain, I probably don't need to apologize, it's simply in my nature to do so. I know no other way.

I'm sorry, I have been tired and full of stupid self doubt.

So, as I carefully walk back to the stable with a big cube of sugar in my hand (do horses like that? Or a carrot? Carrot cake?), I formulate my new strategy to climb on his back. Again. I went to the PNWA Conference this last week, and I have to say, I don't remember being around so many people that shared my love who were also genuinely nice and giving and talented. The experience was exhilarating to the point of exhaustion - no lie. I had the chance to pitch to several agents, which was an incredible experience alone (as a side bar, it felt a lot like what I imagine the kids on American Idol feel like, or a cattle call for a broadway show. It was crazy and exciting and terrifying to be in a group of 90 or so people lining up for 4 minute pitches to someone that could potentially be your partner in crime. Kinda like speed dating I suppose. Anyway - ), and walked away with 4 offers to submit portions of my manuscript. For someone like me, that is a pretty incredible thing! Actually, for anyone who wants to write and be published, it's an incredible thing. And terrifying. Regardless of any of that, my strategy is to follow the advice of Greg Bear, who was given the same advice from Ray Bradbury, "Don't get sophisticated in your writing, have fun!" Some people would call that an "Ah-ha" moment, I'm going to call it a "Duh" moment. And tack it onto the top of my laptop screen so I don't forget it.

So, thanks for listening, if you are. I don't know how long it's been since I posted, I honestly don't want to look. I might get depressed about it. So instead, I'm moving forward, climbing back on my horse. Thank God he loves me unconditionally!