Better Today

Somehow I managed to go to bed last night in one of those "skim the surface" type of sleeps where I problem solve all night. This is in spite of having what I like to call "Special Tea". This wonderful concoction was introduced to me by my husband and more often than not, creates a lovely deep sleep. This tea (one shot whiskey, hot water, lemon juice and honey) is used sparingly as I don't want my body getting any ideas that if it doesn't have the tea, it's not going to sleep - or that the magic of the tea will be diluted over time. Unfortunately, Special Tea was not up to the challenge of my whirling mind last night.

All night I was trying to solve the problem of needing to write, needing to work, needing to spend time with my family. It's a good thing that I found out before bed that the offhanded remark about not spending time with my family anymore was intended as a joke. Little did my husband know that this very statement opens up an incredibly deep wound, which obviously it hasn't healed. I trust he understands that now and will remember my puffy swollen face and snotty nose before deciding to use that for a joke. He's a good man, I'm sure he will.

I spent the morning writing about plausible solutions until I just started irritating myself. What exactly was wrong with my original plan? Not much. This is something you will probably learn about me. I'm honestly a very logical person, can be very even keeled and have a solid ability to focus and get the job done. Inevitably, somewhere in the process, I will have a meltdown - or two - or three. This is my moment to open the door to the teenager inside who has been told to buckle down and do what needs to be done. The logical mom says, "Sheila, you're going to be just fine if you do this and this and this. Do not worry, it will all work out and you will be proud of yourself!"Then at some point, the door gets opened a crack, teenage Sheila comes bursting out all messy and irrational. She gets a moment to let her emotions fly, bawl her eyes out, stomp her feet, whatever. That is, until she realizes that logical Mom is right. Then she calms down and gets to work.

Tonight I was able to get the framing done on my outline. I have my acts and inside chapters broken down, with high level descriptions of each. This is a huge step. I've never outlined an entire novel before, only short stories and papers. I actually found it quite fun once I had an idea of where I wanted to go and why. I feel like the premise and major characters are fairly set and now the outline is sketched. Hopefully within the next two days I can flesh out a few scenes for each chapter and think about minor characters. If divine lightning strikes, perhaps I can get an idea of subplots. That may be wishful thinking - there's only two days left!

So, the point is, I feel better now. I've calmed down, feel like I made some progress and am ready to try again tomorrow. It's now 10pm, about an hour after I normally go to bed, and my brain is buzzing. And yes, I am having Special Tea again tonight. Don't judge.